King of Fools...

As I look back on the last 15 years that I’ve been pastoring…I quickly recognize the seasons and shiftings of my approach to faith and ministry.  I started out with the destination of holiness…and a “don’t spare the horses” mentality.  I had a single track mind that was convinced that there was only one way to engage the culture and that was head-on.  Gee…that worked well.  It didn't work because holiness is wrong, but because I wasn’t holy.  I was judgmental, prideful, ignorant and an island unto myself…even if my intentions were good.

Ten years ago, I entered into my first recognizable shift when I came to Gresham.  I began to soften and see the bride of Christ for what she is…lost, confused and without clear direction as to what would restore her.  I was still judgmental and prideful but I wasn’t as ignorant to the plight of the church any longer.  I saw the need but didn’t know who I was or how to engage a generation of young people.

Five years ago, I found myself shifting again.  I felt like a fish out of water because I found myself embracing a postmodern mind set that I couldn’t really explain if I had to.  I just knew that everything that I had been trying, who I thought I was…wasn’t engaging the world of church ministry that I was immersed in.  Amazing, relational things were happening all around me in my regular life, but church ministry felt dead.  I was ready to throw in the towel and follow Jesus back into Frito-Lay and my community...except that wasn't where God would have me just yet.

Today’s passage in 1 Corinthians 1:I8-25 really resonates with the journey I’ve been on.  I spent about 10 years of ministry trying to convince the world that I wasn’t a nerdy Christian.  A lot of what I was about was trying to convince myself and the world around me that I could be a cool Christian.  Now my shift seems to have come full circle…the only difference is me.  I’m still trying to work out my holiness but the last 15 years have emblazoned one thing upon my heart and spirit and I embrace it completely…and it will really bother some in the church.  The greatest thing I can strive for is to be the King of Fools.

There, I said it…and it was very freeing.  God uses foolishness to confound the wise.  God uses weakness to supplant the strong.  I will happily be considered a weak fool in God’s eyes if that is where He can best use me.