40 Days of Fasting & Prayer--Day 31

Feb. 2nd-That God’s presence would INVADE my prayer

 

(Luke 18:9-14)

 

This is what I call an ugly duckling passage.  It is ugly because it reveals the depravity and arrogance of my heart but it becomes beautiful when I see the picture of what true humility and reverence for God looks like.  As it relates to my own prayer and approach to God, I think I’m somewhere in between thinking I’m a hot stuff Christian and one who thinks himself completely worthless to the Kingdom.  It all depends on the time of day.

For most of my life, my prayers have gone up out of a sense of duty.  I didn’t feel excited about praying but I did buy in to the importance of it.  I didn’t generally feel a sense of connection with God through prayer, but I think I’ve always had faith enough to believe that He at least hears them.  His consideration of them is an entirely different matter.

 

About a month ago, I had a friend speak some words to me that she felt God had asked her to share with me.  The essence of the message was that I was like a blind man groping for something.  The irony of it all was that I wasn’t blind, but only had my eyes shut to this wonderful glory all around me.  The only thing I really needed to do was to open my eyes and see.  Considering where I am at in my faith journey, this was a powerful insight.

 

That is exactly how I feel about prayer.  I’m a man with a weapon but not really sure which direction to fire it.  I have everything I need but I don’t know how to use it.  I see what could be but I just don’t know how to get there.

 

Over the course of this fast I have had stark realities confronting me.  The more I pray, the more I realize my need for prayer.  The more I seek God, the more I recognize my need to seek God.  The more I trust God, the more I recognize my need to trust God.  The more I obey God, the more I recognize my need to obey God.

 

I have a long time youth pastor compadre who plays guitar, and he once told me that the better he gets at playing, the more he realizes how much he still has to learn.  That is me as it relates to prayer.  As best I can tell, praying more hasn’t made me a “better Christian” or even more effective as a pastor per se.  It has brought me closer to the tax collector who beats his chest and cried out, “God, have mercy!”

 

"Father, You promised in Isaiah that You would restore joy back to the house of prayer.  Today I ask that You would fascinate my prayer life and invade it with power.  I believe that You have wisdom for me everyday, so please guide me as we talk with each other."